Niagara Falls, Honeymoon Capital of the World.  They say marriages are made in heaven; this is where they test-drive them.  For almost a hundred years, men— real men — have come to Niagara Falls to defy the will of Mother Nature, to challenge the raging torrents of the mighty Niagara River, to lay their lives on the line, the line that drops dramatically 170 feet straight down into a churning canyon of angry currents.  I tell you, these are men with nerves of steel. These are men with hearts of lions. These, ladies and gentlemen, are men with shit for brains.
Here, then, is the highlight reel of daredevils who have recently used Niagara Falls as a water slide.
In 1990, American Jesse Sharp went over Niagara Falls in a whitewater kayak. Like all daredevils, Jessie had high hopes of fame and riches. Before he went over, he told the media that he had planned the trip over Niagara Falls for 10 long years. The trip over the falls took 4.5 seconds. Experts believe this stunt was way, way overplanned.
Dave Munday from Caistor Centre, Ont. went over the falls in a barrel in 1985 and lived. Several summers ago Dave attempted to shoot Niagara Falls again, but his barrel got grounded at the brink of the falls and he had to be rescued with a crane. Dave, a persistent stunter, went over the falls again in 1993. For his next trick Dave claimed he'd really like to fly an airplane into a bus.  Think about that the next time you're in Niagara Falls and taking public transit. Good advice: if you find yourself on a bus in ‘The Cataract City' being tailgated by an airplane piloted by a guy wrapped in air bags and wearing a hockey helmet – get off at the next stop.
My own personal favourite is Peter deBernardi, who went over the falls in a two-man barrel with Jeffrey Petrovitch, Sept. 28, 1989. They survived. Afterwards, when asked why he did it, Peter said: “To show kids there are better things to do than drugs!”
Not to argue with that logic, but I'm trying to imagine the choice: “Okay, Jimmy, you can smoke this joint of marijuana or get inside that metal ball over there, we'll seal you in so you have about a half-hour's worth of air, then you'll come bobbing down that raging river at 70 miles per hour, drop 14 stories in 4.5 seconds under 212,000 cubic feet of pressure, and the chances of you dying are very, very good.”
I don't know about your kid, but I think Jimmy might say something like:  “Uh … you got one of those roach clips so I don't burn my fingers?”
Over two decades ago, Karel Soucek of Hamilton, Ont. beat the odds and lived. After twice going through the Lower Rapids of Niagara Falls in a barrel, Karel went head-on with the Horseshoe Falls on July 3, 1984. I interviewed Karel for a magazine story and concluded that he had a strong desire to be famous – along with a nagging death wish.  Fearing he would shoot the falls without documentation, Karel would call me and with his voice disguised and say:  “I'm going over Niagara Falls Sunday morning.”
I'd say:  “But Karel, I've got baseball practice Sunday morning.”
Voice still disguised:  “What are you doing Saturday?”
Like all successful daredevils, Karel did not receive the recognition he'd hoped for. Consequently, a year later, Karel attempted to recreate his Niagara Falls feat in a death-defying stunt at the Houston Astrodome.  They sealed Karel up in the same barrel he'd used at the falls and dropped him from a ceiling platform, 180 feet above a large tank of water.  Unfortunately, the barrel hit the side of the tank, fatally injuring Karel and proving once and for all that going over Niagara Falls in a barrel is not an indoor sport!
The most interesting stunt may have been that of Steven Trotter and Lori Martin. Steven went over the falls solo in 1985, and in June of 1995 the two of them went over in a double barrel.  The woman who had planned and practised with Steven to shoot the falls bailed out at the last minute. Lori Martin was an eleventh-hour replacement. I can only imagine that conversation.
Steven: “So, Lori, I'm leaving for Canada in the morning and I was wondering, would you like to come along, do a little sightseeing, maybe a candlelit dinner overlooking the falls and …”
Lori: “You pig!  You have just one thing …”
Steven: “Oh no, Lori.  After dinner, I thought we might get into a barrel and go over Niagara Falls, a thrilling but extremely dangerous stunt in which we might both be killed or maimed.”
Lori: “Oh, okay.  For a minute there I thought you were trying to get physical.”
I know guys who have tried unsuccessfully for years to get their wives to go fishing with them, but that, that was amazing!
Trotter's stunt took place on Father's Day, and he dedicated the whole adventure as a gift to his father, who was at the falls and watching.  Fortunately, the couple was not killed. We all know what a bummer it is to have to collect your Father's Day gift at the morgue.
An interesting pattern has developed in the hundred years that daredevils have been defying the falls.  Only one woman, Annie Edson Taylor, successfully shot the falls solo in 1901, and no woman has tried it since.
Yet almost 20 men have barreled over the falls and five of them have died! Most men have an instinctive need to impress other men. The daredevils of Niagara harbour have a need to impress a special breed of men. They're called coroners.

For comments, ideas or a copy of  Guys – Not Real Bright And Damn Proud Of It, go to www.williamthomas.ca